Sometimes I do believe that there is a god, but most of the time I do not. I call myself an atheist since I potentially do not really trust god, thus I don't believe him. Maybe it's because i've grown up living in pain, pressure, despair and I prayed every night, hoping that he or she may hear me.
My prayers were never answered.
Maybe it was because I was unlucky , or my problems were insignificant compared to others because I know that others have problems, or because I wasn't worthy enough to receive divine help, but whatever the reason, I now only pray when I'm in desperate situations and it's mostly just,
"Please god, if you can hear me, I need your help."
Maybe my expectations were just
So i've learnt to just rely on myself.
That way, no one gets hurt.
I kind of do miss you.)