Sometimes I do believe that there is a god, but most of the time I do not. I call myself an atheist since I potentially do not really trust god, thus I don't believe him. Maybe it's because i've grown up living in pain, pressure, despair and I prayed every night, hoping that he or she may hear me.

My prayers were never answered.

Maybe it was because I was unlucky , or my problems were insignificant compared to others because I know that others have problems, or because I wasn't worthy enough to receive divine help, but whatever the reason, I now only pray when I'm in desperate situations and it's mostly just, 
"Please god, if you can hear me, I need your help."
Maybe my expectations were just too high.
So i've learnt to just rely on myself.

That way, no one gets hurt.

(Dear God,
I kind of do miss you.)

1 comment:

  1. I see.

    Well, like I mentioned, I hold no plans on trying to force you into belief, but I think it's sad when I hear this kind of reason (because I hear it a lot, and it always chips at pieces of my soul and it hurts).

    Oh, we had a simulation of the Model UN last year for Social Science. We limited it to just Asian countries, though, and it wasn't really anything too formal (just a one-week class activity). I loved the experience, nevertheless.


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