To be a bird.

shooting down like a fallen star
" poor broken little bird "
losing flight feather by feather
and I cry in fearful trills

of unknown eyes and forced wills
forget me, for I want to forget you
those eyes demanding songs of joy
perfection in the midst of agony

so i sing i sing i sing and i cry
for the yearning light and the endless sky.

(inspired by "i know why the caged bird sings"-Maya Angelou)


Tapping on my heart.

and fingers tap the windowpane
keeping time with my heartbeat
tap ta-tap tap ta-tap tap

and when you smile
sometimes i skip a count,
just to let you sink in


Little flakes of thought,

Human life is fragile, fleet and disappears within years. How quickly do we lose the rosy hue in our cheeks when we die, when we rot away inside our bodies and finally our soul gives up struggling for the essence of survival, the means of living in this world? But is this our world? Do we have the right to live in this world, in this plane of existence?

I don’t think so.

We are shadows, mere shadows dodging the footsteps of the fleeting ghost of existence. We are mere illusions, torn between reality and fiction. We are not alive. 
We do not live in this world, nor do we belong but only do the creatures who we belittle are truly the last snowflakes of winter. We are the storm that rides and rages over this planet and once we have led destruction to the very end, we move on. Like storms, we move on to another planet, destroying, ripping apart and we shield the truth from our younger generation’s eyes by feeding them illusions and we create fantasies for them to live and thrive in, happy and not caring about the wretch we call human life. The very essence of life does not lie within us, being the bastards we are. All we can do is dodge life’s footsteps, like mere shadows. 
And like mere shadows, we fade away, screaming and fighting to stay there but the light always finds a way to kill us off.


6 senses.

y  o  u 
smell of {temptation}
taste of {frustration}
look like {possession}
sound like {jealousy}
feel like {desire}

and i sense l o v e.



they asked me where i was going and i cried never never land
fat dreams rolling down my collar bone and transforming into wings
hanging off my fingertips like dead weight

"think happy thoughts"

the words wrap around me like a python
gently squeezing, gently suffocating
and with this I jump--
because pixie dust is overrated.


First time.

i remember being captured
by your pliant lips cold as fire
and held--strung across your heart
beating me with wild pulses 

i hope you dream of me tonight.

You are the funeral of love

flushed cheeks faded long ago into ice
and you and your secret sensuous innocence
glass walls trapping sunlight in darkened eyes
onyx black swallowing me whole
vile kisses with sinful lips

devour my heart with delicious lies and promises
though i know love is dead in those lustful eyes
my heart still bears fruit of your name
whispering into the rising dusk
to me, to me, mon amor, to me

and so
if every breath was a wish, 
i'd give you all of me.

(revised and rewritten)



my heart is the empty room
you took over without permission
made it your home
fluffed up the cushions
painted the walls
and spilled coffee on the floor
listening to old 80's music

and now I can't live without your colour