To be a bird.

shooting down like a fallen star

" poor broken little bird "

losing flight feather by feather

and I cry in fearful trills

of unknown eyes and forced wills

forget me, for I want to forget you

those eyes demanding songs of joy

perfection in the midst of agony

so i sing i sing i sing and i cry

for the yearning light and the endless sky.

(inspired by "i know why the caged bird sings"-Maya Angelou)

Tapping on my heart.

and fingers tap the windowpane

keeping time with my heartbeat

tap ta-tap tap ta-tap tap

and when you smile

sometimes i skip a count,

just to let you sink in

Little flakes of thought,

Human life is fragile, fleet and disappears within years. How quickly do we lose the rosy hue in our cheeks when we die, when we rot away inside our bodies and finally our soul gives up struggling for the essence of survival, the means of living in this world? But is this our world? Do we have the right to live in this world, in this plane of existence?

I don’t think so.

We are shadows, mere shadows dodging the footsteps of the fleeting ghost of existence. We are mere illusions, torn between reality and fiction. We are not alive. 

 

We do not live in this world, nor do we belong but only do the creatures who we belittle are truly the last snowflakes of winter. We are the storm that rides and rages over this planet and once we have led destruction to the very end, we move on. Like storms, we move on to another planet, destroying, ripping apart and we shield the truth from our younger generation’s eyes by feeding them illusions and we create fantasies for them to live and thrive in, happy and not caring about the wretch we call human life. The very essence of life does not lie within us, being the bastards we are. All we can do is dodge life’s footsteps, like mere shadows. 

 

And like mere shadows, we fade away, screaming and fighting to stay there but the light always finds a way to kill us off.

6 senses.

y  o  u 

smell of {temptation}

taste of {frustration}

look like {possession}

sound like {jealousy}

feel like {desire}

and i sense l o v e.

wanderlust.

they asked me where i was going and i cried never never land

fat dreams rolling down my collar bone and transforming into wings

hanging off my fingertips like dead weight

"think happy thoughts"

the words wrap around me like a python

gently squeezing, gently suffocating

and with this I jump--

because pixie dust is overrated.

First time.

i remember being captured

by your pliant lips cold as fire

and held--strung across your heart

beating me with wild pulses 

i hope you dream of me tonight.

You are the funeral of love

flushed cheeks faded long ago into ice

and you and your secret sensuous innocence

glass walls trapping sunlight in darkened eyes

onyx black swallowing me whole

vile kisses with sinful lips

devour my heart with delicious lies and promises

though i know love is dead in those lustful eyes

my heart still bears fruit of your name

whispering into the rising dusk

to me, to me, mon amor, to me

and so

if every breath was a wish, 

i'd give you all of me.

(revised and rewritten)

Rent.

my heart is the empty room

you took over without permission

made it your home

fluffed up the cushions

painted the walls

and spilled coffee on the floor

listening to old 80's music

and now I can't live without your colour