Washed away.

and my thoughts swallow up sad 

b r o         k e n

memories

like a gaping fish

[ d r o w n i n g ] in your oxygen

thought-ridden brows frowning in confusion/frustration/aggravation

-i'd kiss those little wrinkles on your forehead-

the place where your fringe parts,

ever-so-perfectly-falling-into-your-eyes

greengreenbrown mountains

like parched autumn leaves 

tears don't seem to 

f

a

l

l

 anymore

"you're still beautiful"

(you didn't think so when you said goodbye)

i s t i l l t h i n k a b o u t y o u

butitsdifferentnow, justalittlebit

i'd still kiss your lips you know

now you'd wished you'd never let me go.

Down to Camelot.

and i'm crippled by the earth of your eyes

watch the fog and mirrors thrown around us

m i s t 

like your lips, like your whispers, like your 

kiss

it might be nice--you know?

to feel something?

and there is me

[all fragmented and broken--just the way you like it]

and you're the lancelot to my tragedy,

cracked and gilded as my heart--initials carved in stone

letters intertwining youmeus 

maybe this tragedy will end happilyeverafter.

do you hear their thunderous applause?

c u r t a i n . c a l l 

[Author's note: i believe that abstract writing does not agree with me. hmm..]

I'm not anyone special...

or maybe i'm just a mess of words, desperate to be put together,

desperate to find a place in your story,

desperate,

or maybe i'm just me.

It's a start.

i love .simplicity.

the smell of the air in the morning, the way the sunlight feels on my bare skin, the feeling of my sheets in between my thighs, the softness of the pillows around me, the warmth of satin and silk wrapped around my chest. the way my phone vibrates and I know that it's you. it's always you.

[ b r e a k ]

the way you say my name, syllables rolling off your tongue like the waves of pacific ocean, bluebluebluepiano like the way you hold yourself; the way you hold me, even for just split seconds in your arms. the way you tell me you wantmesobadly, lovemesobadly and the way you just make me smile--always, without fail. the way you say that you want me to focus on you and you only.

the way my heart beats around you

can you hear it?

"i think...

i'm starting to..."

Time Lapse.

his fingers lightly waltzes across your caramel skin, soyoungsoyoungso young

he bites his bottom lip, the lips you've always known and ice blue pierces your own henna brown with an underlying question, the question you've been waiting for all these years thumbing through history textbooks, pretending to read the words when all you're doing is hiding the fact that it's his face you're studying and finally, finally, you're free to take him (down to his purple ties) and to succumb to the desire that's burnt the edges of your heart all this time.

"yes," you hiss. "goddammityes"

there's no more hesitation as his eyes read the fire behind yours and you can feel the heat of his skin penetrate into yours, his love sinking into your pores and your lips as he embraces you into the warmth, the home of his chest--where you finally, finally, get to be.

"ive always loved you....always, sir."

"i know."

(dedicated to Juniper)

Extract01.

[Here's just a little introduction to a short story of mine.

Nothing important really, just thought that some of you might like to read.

Read the entire thing (click to be continued) if you wish.]

◊


“I’m still reeling from the loss,
still a little bit delirious”
A Fine Frenzy

◊

ZERO:Begin

“Oh shitshitshit,” she cried, perfectly manicured fingers running through cropped raven hair. She did not need this mess right now, or this splitting headache threatening to make her late for work…or that. She narrowed her almond eyes at the naked back of a young man sprawled next to her—Harry was it? Or Donovan? Jared?—and groaned when another ache rattled her sore brain. Last night was the last time she was going to touch alcohol...or maybe the night after.

Not Enough,

he can't bear it any longer,

the fire ebbing away at his mind.

he wants her,

he wants her,

he wants her,

he wants--

i want you too.

It's so sweet.

Dear You,

I drank in your love(?)

and vomited rainbows.

Love(d),

the girl you pushed away.

Climbing.

Your backbone is like the wall of china

and I have to scale it to break into your paper-thin walls.

Don't collapse on me,

yet.

Cinderella was too late.

"don't look at me"

"but you're beautiful"

***

The real world isn't like a fairy-tale. When you run away with tears streaming down your face, he isn't going to run after you, grab your arm, pull you into the homely feel of his chest and kiss your forehead--tell you that you're beautiful and that he wants you back. 

No. 

He's just going to walk away and feel a little pang over the fact that he made you cry ("justalittlebitiswear").

And when you're ready, he'll say sorry.

But you'll never be really ready,

And he'll never be really sorry.

Ballerina.

i need to find my balance

before i fa- oops.

f

 a

  l

   l

    i

     n

       g

tipping over into nothing-ness

.

it's... kind of comfortable here

isn't it?

Gravity.

you spoke and, 

my heart fell out of my chest

and kissed the ground

"  c  h  e  a  p  "

but my love for you comes without a price

Sunny side up?

The clouds roll over your collar bones

and fade away to wisps in your sapphire eyes

i imagine picnics spent in the crook of your arm

and the smell of home in your chest

spring is almost here

Pathetic Attempt.

I hide my soul from piercing eyes,

Whispered words swim in lies.

I weep in silence, I cry in fear,

shadowed eyes veil broken tears.

Shatter the truth and break me apart,

trace the jagged lines running down my heart,

feel the blossoming bruise from hailing rain,

drenching me in bitter p a i n .

Taste of spring

he was stupid,

but he was in love,

and in the end he finally found that girl he wanted,

and that takes a lot of commitment

so, now what?

 (guess we can't all be rainbows and butterflies)