26.1.11

Internal Battle.

(dedicated to one of my best friends)

She can't have you.
No, she can't. I don't care what you're about to say. I don't care what you're going to do about it but she can't have you. She can't have you because it's not fair. It's not fair for me because I've wanted you all this time and I try. I try, I really do. I come early to school everyday just to see you. I'm the last to leave the classroom because I want to be the last one to say goodbye so that you'll always remember me. I'm the one who wishes you good day everytime we walk past. I'm the one who notices the shirt you wear and how your tie matches your eyes and how you walk as though you own the world with that despicably adorable smirk of yours.

"I..."

I don't care if she's beautiful, or smart, or intelligent. I don't care if you say that it's impossible because it's not. I don't care how many times you turn me down as long as I end up with you. I don't care if you're more than twice my age with a job. I don't care if you think i'm not old enough yet because I will be.
I will be everything you want me to be if that's what it takes. I'm the one who's been trying for so long. The one who cries every single night because you don't realize just how god damned beautiful you are. I'm the one who would die for you.

I'm the one who's loved you all this time.
It's not fair.
She can't have you.

She just can't.

"I'm sorry..."

I know.
That's why I can't have you either.

2 comments:

  1. It's all so impossible, but not any less beautiful for that. Tell her what she's known for that 'long time', the words that I could never tell her to her face, 'I will love you until the day I die... and it's because of that love that I have to set you free x

    ReplyDelete
  2. you make me cry.
    or maybe, he does.

    either way, i love this.
    and him.
    but this a lot, too.

    ReplyDelete

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