Simple regrets.

"I thought you said you'd never let go."

"I'm still here, aren't I?"

"But you let go of me."

"I wish you grabbed my hand and stopped me."

" I guess... I was just tired of holding on to empty air."

Desperate needs.

I'm not much one for praying. I find it useless--a futile attempt in wanting all your dreams and desires and leaving it to invisible forces to carry them out for you. Why can't you use your own efforts and your own power to make your dreams happen? Why can't you work towards your goals instead, put in every drop of sweat and blood and make it happen with your own hands? Of course you can.

But now I know, that sometimes when disaster strikes. Natural disasters, you can't do anything. You can fight against it, work to survive but you can't stop it. You definitely can't even do much when you're far away from the place of disaster and all you do is cry and bite your nails and realize that you are praying--hoping.

Praying for all those people there,

because when all else fails, there's still hope left.

...and I can't do much but hope. for now.

Japan

my heart goes out to you.

Abandon Ship.

They said that we would last, no matter what,

then again, they said the Titanic would too.

But why?

he wants to touch her; her rose-petal skin, gentle curves cased in alabaster (she's not that innocent really) flushed with peached satin. By god, he needs to touch her, feel her--feel her healing caress and the sinful velvet of her lips pressed on his, slightly pouted and parted as though whispering secrets. He wants to take her,  sate his desires; to sink into her and feel her aflame beneath him; flushed skin on ivory skin; oceans, sweat and tears clashing into one delightful, shuddering frenzy. He wants to make her his, forever, as long as he breathes.

he just didn't know that she wants him too,

even more than he wants her.

Letter 05: Your dreams

Dear dreams,

i've had enough

of you tugging at my heartstrings

and snapping me awake

dangling fragments of glass

inches from my spilling eyes

i thought i knew/dreamt/hoped/wanted heard

"i might actually just love you"

you're too cruel.

sincerely, your nightly prisoner

ps. i miss you, where did you go?

He'll just say.

"내가 '사랑한다' 말하며
그댄 '미안하다' 하겟죠"

I know that you still have feelings somewhere,

just buried deep, 7 feet under that smirk 

(i said seven because i'm feeling lucky)

I just need to keep digging deeper

until i strike gold.

i believe in you, you know?

he's just like them.

take my hand and follow me...

and you think that no, no he's different. he's not like one of those assholes who would just date you, pretend to love you with sweetened words and honey-combed messages before tossing your heart onto the floor like a piece of trash. 

Actually, he is an asshole. 

No, no, he is different--

he's just better at hiding it.

...to the place I long to be

words are only words.

and they will whisper

with fluttering secrets and lowered lashes

eyes peeking from shy, glittered lids

trying to peek into the shadows of his heart

and I will smile

knowing that flourishing in the darkness

of him, there is me,

and there will always only be,

just me.

of you, there's me,

and there'll always be

just me.

quaver.

i'd rather pretend that one day I might have you,

than try to reach out with trembling fingers

only to have your doors slam shut on them

pain is inevitable

no matter what tune I may play

Letter 04: Your Sibling

"it's beautiful isn't it?"

"yes, it is."

Dear You,

what happened to those days where we would frolic amongst the greenery in an innocence almost unreal--sought after, yearned for? what happened to those days where you would grasp my hand and with your own finger, trace the patterns and secrets of the world around me? what happened to those days where your voice would sing me to sleep, shout at me for breaking your toys and tremble with fear as you reveal to me all the secrets kept within? what happened to those days when I could look up at you, see the love shine from those eyes (so very like mine) and grin toothily, just knowing, knowing that you'd smile back.

what happened to us, brother,

what happened to love?

fatherly blood runs through our veins

mothers blood is the bar we cannot pass

it's not our fault we have different mothers

now your warm eyes have turned to winter ice

and you no longer smile back

Your not-quite-sister

Da-dum.

and i curl into the warmth of your chest

feeling the irregular beat of your heart

rise and fall in rapid rhythm to mine

sometimes even in the midst of the empty silence

i can feel you in my heart.

Distant by skin.

I can feel your warm breath on my shoulder,

and I miss you ;

where did you go?

Come back to me soon,

so I can love you, the you I love, lovingly.

Letter 03: Your Parents

To You,

I offer you my palms cupped in a pool of light,

where twilight stars burn a hole in my heart.

Stars aren't meant to be held by these hands

cracked,

with peeling porcelain mistakes i'm sorry, 

drowning in tempted desires and unseen intentions

just another forgotten/hidden/broken/thiswilldo ornament

lavished with lacquer "how beautiful!" and gold leaf

ever so silent, smiling, with tired eyes

telling you how much I love you

(and the pain you've given me)

Love,

your ornamental daughter

Et tu?

And the feelings you give me are all the ones 

that they write about in classic romance novels,

but we're not the typical Darcy and Elizabeth

(thereisnohappilyeverafterending)

yet

that comes after you tell me you love me

we still have a few pages to go.

Vintage love.

"please don't leave me alone..."

"i promise i won't ever leave you alone"

the sentence that echoes through everyone's mind--like a thousand voices that drown you in solitude as you huddle within yourself by yourself.

the sentence that echoes through your mind when you see them, an endless mantra because, goddamnit, you believe in nothing -- nothing -- but them,

our hearts are like g l a s s

chipped antiques stacked on dusty shelves,

no one wants.

Author's note: Yay! First collaboration with Juniper. I feel so complete.