The story of us

And your name s i n k s
into my skin--its ice on a furnace
hot, hot, hot like your lips on mine

searing those promises
deep into my b o n e s
stealing away every breath of mine

with you,
i don't need air.

Wash me away.

there are meteor showers in your eyes

and i'm a desert around you

drinking in your oceans

but the tide is low and you're gravitating

towards the eclipsing moon

 [ maybe i am crazy and maybe you don't know

and maybe you will never but you need to know

that i need you ]

so don't go

pleasepleaseplease

i fucking need you

here

( dedicated to juniper
it's been a while )

To be a bird.

shooting down like a fallen star

" poor broken little bird "

losing flight feather by feather

and I cry in fearful trills

of unknown eyes and forced wills

forget me, for I want to forget you

those eyes demanding songs of joy

perfection in the midst of agony

so i sing i sing i sing and i cry

for the yearning light and the endless sky.

(inspired by "i know why the caged bird sings"-Maya Angelou)

wanderlust.

they asked me where i was going and i cried never never land

fat dreams rolling down my collar bone and transforming into wings

hanging off my fingertips like dead weight

"think happy thoughts"

the words wrap around me like a python

gently squeezing, gently suffocating

and with this I jump--

because pixie dust is overrated.

First time.

i remember being captured

by your pliant lips cold as fire

and held--strung across your heart

beating me with wild pulses 

i hope you dream of me tonight.

Rent.

my heart is the empty room

you took over without permission

made it your home

fluffed up the cushions

painted the walls

and spilled coffee on the floor

listening to old 80's music

and now I can't live without your colour

For I am unwanted.

like a rose

you grow

 entwine around my ribs

and crawl up my sternum

to wrap tightly around my heart

intoxicate me with your scent

poison me with your beauty

and stab me with your thorns

dripping with burning sin

and i nestle

like a weed

in between your leaves

to find the soothing shade i crave

and seek your delicious poison

feed on our sins

like the desperate tormentor i am

useless and dangerous

green with envy

holding on

like a lifeline

Because I am autumn.

autumn leaves tremble under your fingertips

and they b r e a k

falling and fading into

nothingness

but in your arms i am something

[warm&

fragile&

vulnerable&]

maybe I don't mind

breaking.

My love, I fly.

Because in my dreams I can fly

so I fly to you, amor meus

[ my love ]

beating hard with charred wings

i hold on to the unforgiving wind, ardor meus

[ my passion]

the shackles are burning reality into my ankles, 

but i keep running--i run to you, vita mea

[ my life ]

over oceans of broken glass i may fall

but i will fly, to you

Aevum, amor meus

[ forever, my love ]

Empty hands.

calm your stormy heart

and pull together the stitches

that held apart the dreams so painful

this glass-heart you hold in trembling hands

you can't dream because you have lost

but

calm dreams won't return to stormy hearts

and cease those dreamless nights

let the ashes of your heart

rise to meet the salty foams

that wash away your tearful sighs

and let your lips meet his ocean eyes

then kiss the crossroads on his brow

and tread along that dusty road

and 

leave footprints on his

sullen heart

and let the waves

wash hers behind

because you can see.

i run into your arms

and i fall into your eyes

drown in your multitude of frozen dreams

wild desires, and bitter lies.

your kisses spread like wildfire,

and the ocean pools in those eyes,

those heaven-sent illusory celestial orbs

that see me through, right through my disguise.

d o n ' t . l o o k . a t . m e

I tried.

you're a constellation all your own

and i dream of carving mountains under my skin

just so you'd know how high i'd climb

just to touch your stars

but the pain stops me from trying.

The power of listening.

You've seen her. 

Perhaps you've never acknowledged her existence and perhaps you never even knew her name. But she's there and she's always been there. She's not "beautiful", or "sexy" or "perfect" in any way. She dances at the corner of your eye and she was always standing in the background of photographs. Never in front, never taking the limelight away from others. Her family oppresses her and she didn't have a multitude of friends and she never went to any parties (nor was she invited to any). Some people told her that she wasn't enough and that she would never be enough and some people avoided her and some people, some people kept bringing her down. 

You've seen her.

But you haven't seen her.

You haven't seen the way her eyes light up and dance at the mention of literature. You haven't seen the way her pen skids across paper, curvaceous, tempting onyx ink seeping through the white. You haven't seen the way words seem to burst from her fingertips and the way they dance and open doorways into worlds never ventured before. You haven't seen her talk about her dreams and ambitions, her face settling in determination at the thought of proving everyone wrong. You haven't seen her face soften, eyes glowing with passion at the thought of her loved one. You haven't seen the way she's planning her future with those she loves and the freedom from all the oppression she battles everyday.

And that one thing, that one single thought kept her alive..She loved him and soon enough he will grow to love her because she loved him and will continue to love him for as long as she lived. She knew that this was a fact and that it was true. She knew that no one but her few friends would ever understand.

You've seen her.

And soon enough, you will hear her.

Because sometimes just seeing things, isn't always enough.

dedicated to juniper <3

Incubus.

he speaks in riddles and

she's tired of solving problems

that others plant in her hair

like daisies in a field

" stop it "

she whispers to the silence

darkness engulfing her prayers

and spitting out her nightmares.

Maiden's Bay.

she lashes out at the tides,

ocean eyes drying up in their cracks,

tears dragging themselves away from the edge,

where fluttering eyelashes tear at the wind

it's hard to cry,

she had always said,

with the clumsy wind in your eyes

She cries again tonight.

I crawl underneath the opaque luminescent canvas stretched over your wrist

you caress with glorified secrets, scarlet lines tangled like telephone wires

communication never works one way honey

A   N   D

neither does love

Lips sweeter than honey.

your smile hangs over me like the december mist

i feel something bloom inside my barren heart

temptation beckons to me with a sultry smile

I push down my glass walls and roll out the welcome mat

[" please, come in, make yourself at home "]

sometimes i look into my reflection and whisper,

"stupid, stupid girl."

Scarlet Serpents.

scarlet trickles through ashen layers

paving a story through milky grooves

she smiles at the serpent coiled around her wrist

and whispers hymns to it lovingly

[ help me ]

fingers stain iced-glass

i scream her name but no reply

I watch the snake grow in size, 

poison electric blue in her veins.

I want to reach and brush her face,

wipe her tears and call her name...

but i can only watch, i can only watch,

i can only cry.

(Yes X, this is for you)